SPEAKER_02 0:34

Welcome to the Better Two podcast. I'm your host, Donna. Today's guest is Bridget Barkin. Bridget's been on the show before around this time last year. And this time we talk about her latest single, which is totally camp and totally fun called Red Carpet. We also talk about the history of Red Carpet. We talk about dreams and how some of her dreams that she had actually turned into manifesting reality. And well, so much more. So tune in. Hi Bridget, how are you doing today? I'm good. How are you, darling? I'm doing good. So there's a lot that has happened, and mainly what we're going to talk about firstly is your new single that is out that is totally camp and very soulful sounding and very fun. And your video for it, you know. I I I'm going to ask a question because you kind of said on Instagram, you wanted people to send you their red carpet. And did that go incredibly wrong?

SPEAKER_01 1:29

Oh my god, nobody has sent me videos. Nobody cares. It's okay. I I'm gonna, I'm I'm holding out for the long game. I'm gonna do, I'm gonna keep it going all summer long. Um, I just as I, you know, my interest of for things changes very quickly too. So I the for me to stay focused on only this one song for the whole summer is a lot. Um, because I'm like ready to move on. Um, but I still haven't even edited the video for this, and I have so much footage that I shot in New York, and I plan on shooting a lot of footage over the summer at all the festivals, like just me walking around with my red carpet because it's hilarious. And you know, you only live once in this form anyway, so why not? Um, but yeah, no one sent me any red carpets yet.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

I was kind of scared that you most likely were getting some um lewd red carpets.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

No, you know, I think I have a veil of protection around me because people know that I'm not to be messed with. I really do think that. Because like I don't, I'm not one of those girls that gets like random dick pics either. Me neither. And I'm so proud. I mean, I do occasionally get, you know, a very intense lesbian, but uh we we can we can work with that.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

Yeah, I I don't, I'm not one of those people that get the random dick pics or the random hi, how you doing? I have a friend who she has gotten hit on by I don't know how many fake actor accounts. No, like all the time. She has told me today, she's like, I have nine such and such accounts right now that are following me, and she doesn't post anything. That's what's even funnier.

SPEAKER_01 3:13

Yeah, that's weird. That's a strange that's strange. I don't know. I don't know. I don't I don't understand the internet sometimes. I don't understand this world that we're living in. I kind of want to go just be in the witch in the witchy wild sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

Understand completely. I completely understand that and get that. So when we last talked, which was a little bit before this time last year, um we kind of edited the podcast because you were gonna be working with Scissor Sisters, but we I knew that and you knew that, and we were just kind of playing it on the down low. But now it's out loud and proud and everything else, and you are on tour or getting ready to be on tour with them. Yes. And you're not just a backup singer. Nope.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

Never was, never should have been, but you know, you gotta pay the bills. How does that feel?

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Uh, it feels like the right thing. Um, but you know, obviously, I never would have imagined this happening. Like I did have dreams that Scissors Scissors were gonna be on tour again, and I was there, and I was there were so many, I have quite an intense dream life. So there are definite callbacks to other dreams within my dream. So I will be in a dream, and in the dream, it's a memory of a dream that I became like a front person of the band, and then was on this um, like uh what is it called? Like a like an amusement show. No, what is it? A game show, amusement show, a game show where I had to like sing a song of someone else's. But I was a scissors, like I was a front person. So I had these dreams where that was happening in this alternate reality. Um, but I didn't really think, I didn't think scissors were gonna ever return. You know, I didn't, I didn't really think it was gonna happen. So I and I had been having more dreams again that we were on tour, and then I got a text message, and I was like, that's so strange. Because we've stayed in contact. Like obviously, um, Del Marquis and I had a different band together called Slow Nights, and we wrote a bunch of songs. Baby Daddy and I wrote a song together called Danger Heart. Um, Animatronic and I had stayed friends. I like lived in her house and she supported me through a lot of the different performances I was doing in uh like 2013, 14 around there. So I'd stayed friends, you know, and Jason and I'd come to see him on Broadway, but I hadn't gotten like the text. So, hey, are you in town in November? You know? Hmm. And so there, there you have it. And the question was asked, and now I'm I'm doing it and it's really fun. Well, and go ahead. And I and I I love I love the music that they created in the last 20 years. And so that's to to sing songs that people love and that are hits that are great songs for a reason is a great job to have.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

Well, and and the thing is I was gonna say is it kind of they're campy, you're very camp on stage, and that kind of does translate back to your song, uh Red Carpet, because yes, it's a total camp song, and yes, I do love the the line in there about I ain't no spring chicken, but I'm still finger licking. Good.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

I mean That's one of the things maybe my favorite, maybe my favorite line that I wrote, maybe of all time.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

And it's a great line, and it's one of those things where people, yeah, people consider you after a certain age, especially as a woman. Yeah, you're not the silver fox, you're just out to pasture and we're done with you, and goodbye. And you're you know, you're showing people that age is not that.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

No, honey, I am in my 40s and I look better, feel better, I'm happier than I was in my 20s, you know, and 30s probably. You know, half of my 30s were good. Um, but in and out, you know, in and out. No, I think that it's a very, you know, aging is a scary thing anyway, because we just go, oh, we're getting old means we're headed towards death. Like obviously, the reason why we're obsessed with youth in this environment, there's the reason why people, you know, the reason why there's the theory or the conspiracy theory that, you know, they eat the young. Um, because that's eternal life, the vampirical order, you know, like so to, and and I'm not, it's definitely not easy seeing a new wrinkle or a popping vein out of your leg or a cellulite patch, or if you don't eat perfectly for a week, you know, an extra pound or two or three or whatever, you know, like this reality of self-care as you get older and the acceptance and how many, you know, skincare regimes I've tried and regimens online, you know, like face yoga, pull this, get this machine, you know. So it is, it's a tough, um, it's a tough journey to be on getting older as a woman, and to find ways to make it fun and still feel sexy and vibrant and alive is so important, I think. It is, and I think and also a balance too, because it's all right to be a hermit crone in your moo moo that you've worn every day for a week because I'm her too.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

Exactly. You have to have your moments, and that's the thing nobody really looks at. We're told we can't age, but that's also a marketing ploy in a lot of aspects.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

Oh, of course. They're like take, you know, spend more money on staying young, of course. You know, it's all it's all there, it's that's the sad thing. It's that it's really all about money. All of this is about money.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

And it's not even just now, it's not even just women. We're doing it to the men too. The younger men.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

So I mean, all my gays get Bozaks.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

Okay, at least about hitting themselves in the face with a hammer. Well, who would do that? I think you've heard you've not heard about looks magazine. Wait, no. What? Oh yeah, yeah, there was this guy who's a a he's in the manosphere. Apparently, certain people have sponsored him, but and he uses a lot of drugs. But he was trying to get young men to hit themselves in the face with a hammer to give them a defined jaw and take meth to help with the looks. Oh no. I mean, okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:51

I'm so glad I never fell down that rabbit hole.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

Oh yeah. I was just like that's terrifying. I mean Yeah, scary.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

Hey, as long as you're not, I mean, that's the thing, it's not hurting yourself or others, but some people choose to hurt themselves, and I find that you can't stop them, you know.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

There was there was a guy once interviewed who took a flying leap off of a mall building in uh Australia because he was so desperate to have a really good-looking Facebook picture, and he became paralyzed from the the neck down, and he's had to relearn how to walk, which he is. He has, I've watched his him progress. So he's learned how to rewalk everything, but and he goes out and and shares his journey because this is something that he was a young boy, a young kid, and he risked his life for trying to achieve social media glory.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

I mean, it goes back to the prank, the prank folks, right? The kids that are out there, like, and that's like older, but them doing those crazy pranks to get you know attention. And and I know that now the so you know, in so with social media, there's all these other things that people are doing to get that kind of attention. I mean, yeah, it's all, I mean, it's all the layer, you peel back all the layers, and it's all about people who don't feel loved. You know, to don't feel loved and are afraid to die.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Yeah. And and not willing to face their traumas that they went through, not willing to look at them and go, okay, this, I have to unpack this.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Because it's hard work and it's not easy, and you you you also can experience a level of pain that makes you feel like you can't survive it, you know. So I understand those, those hard moments of uh darkness for sure, you know. Um that's why bring it back to the song. Uh that's why one of the reasons why I wrote that song, even though it's very camp and it's very fun. Um there's a lot of layers to it, you know, like the history of the red carpet. Do you know the history of the red carpet? No, I do not. And you would think it would, but no, I don't. But there's a reason why it's red. For blood, for the blood that has been spilled.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

That makes sense then.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

You know, um, it was only laid out for the gods. It was only laid out for people that came home from battle, the carpet of their, of their, of their accomplishments, of the people that they've killed, of of the blood that they shed. You know, there's so there's, I mean, there's more layers, it also connects to Jesus. There's a there's a lot, which is also the funny part of it, because I say in the beginning of the song, my first job was baby Jesus. And it's true, my first job was posing as baby Jesus with Mother Mary. So there's a lot of truth and then these layers of of poetry, you know, and reference and metaphor. But on another level, my struggle with at times in my life feeling like people didn't see me and still don't, or the experiences and the opportunities that haven't come to me, even if I'm right in your face, and the struggle that it's been to even like literally people saying, I can't believe you're not on Broadway. And finally, after I don't know how many times I've heard that and how it kind of hurts my heart, because yeah, me too. I can't believe I haven't done it either, because it was a childhood dream. And at the times I've been close to it, and then it not happening was so heartbreaking that I focused on making my own work because I couldn't handle it anymore. I there were so many different, you know, phases of my life where I was, you know, focusing on theater or focusing on film, focusing on music, and making my own shows allowed, and my own music within the theatrical context allowed me to create what I wanted to experience on Broadway. A lot of the times that I've made my own shows, though, it's just me on that stage. And that the part that I love about theater is the family, is the collaboration, is the energy that you're experiencing together. But me taking that statement of like, I can't believe you're not on Broadway, and me going, no, I am Broadway. What the energy of Broadway is, it's it's just who I am. So if I walk around with that energy, it doesn't mean that I need to be on the stage in a show on Broadway. No, my my art and my creativity is that which you would find on Broadway.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

Well, and here's to be fair, to be very fair about you performing with Scissor Sisters, I I I saw The Spice Girls back in the day. Um, because I knew somebody was a player. And Duran had Duran Duran had a show back in the early 90s that was a theatrical performance. They only did it for a short amount of time. And so where I'm going with this is when you look at when I've seen clips of Scissor Sisters, it's been very much a theatrical presentation.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Oh, a million, and which is why there is no other band that I possibly could have dreamed up to be a part of in this way. I play a character in that band. I lean into that character, whether it's like right before the show or after the show at the after party, I am leaning into her. And so, and it is an extremely empowering role to play, you know, and so I'm I'm so thankful. So, in that way, yes, I'm bringing theater, I'm bringing that theater into everything that I do. So that when I have these moments, which I think are human, which no matter how much you get what you want, you want more. And whether it's not human or can I say capitalist and American and Western, maybe is the answer. Not completely accurate, no. Um, but yes, I would say that most cultures throughout time have wanted to know more or learn more or gain more in the unhealthier way. You know, I think what I would like to approach in my life as the intention is that I want to gain more experience and learn more about myself and more about other people and other cultures and other styles of music or new instruments and that be the exciting thing that I'm gaining instead of going, this experience isn't good enough. I need a different one that's better. You know, I think that is the poison, you know, and I think it is hard to, yes, I think two things can be true at the same time, right? It's that I can love where I'm at and still want to experience this other thing. So I am extremely thankful being in Scissor Sisters and having this new role and focusing on my art and my music in a new way. But I still have other dreams too.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

Well, and to be fair here, you're still doing the burlesque thing. You're still doing the one woman show. I mean, it's not like, oh, I'm in Scissor Sisters, so everybody better carry water for me. And and you better be. I mean, but you understand what I'm getting at. You're not being the diva, you are being you. You are still chasing your dream. Where there are some singers that become well known and then, yeah, carry my stuff. I'm done.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

Yeah, there's uh there's none of that.

SPEAKER_02 17:38

No, I know there's not. I'm just saying, you still are going after everything else. You're still doing, you're still you at your core. Those things that I set listed are the same things you were doing last time we talked.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Absolutely. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's also this the reality that it's it's not a full-time job, right? Or not yet, you know. So yeah, it's great while it's going on. And I get we have an incredible team of people that look after us off stage, on stage. You know, there's so much support. In fact, I I got sick right at the top of the first shows of this year in May. And I got there, I was feeling all right. And then two days later, I was coughing and my voice was going, and they got me a doctor, they got me medicine. I had to sit out one show, uh, which was very upsetting for me. But then I came back the next two days, and now I'm just so excited to hit the road again. Um, but yeah, I mean, it's like also with scissors, they are they're not divas either, you know. Like even when I sang background for them 12 years ago, they treated me so well back then, myself and the other background singer, Chrissy Poland, who's a beast. And they treated us so well, you know. And so I talked to other background singers who sang for big pop stars, and I told them like our whole situation, and they were like, You got the best deal, girl. Like this is amazing. They're really treating you well. Um, yeah, so I think I learned a lot from being with them and seeing how they treat people and and they're like literal, it's it's like they've had the talk. How you treat people represents us. We we want everyone around us to feel cared for, honored, respected, period. You know, so if you're not bringing that, then we have, you know, like we've we've definitely um are all on the same page without with no ziva behavior because we're working artists. That's the reality. You know, and that's what yeah, I never say I'm a so I would never be like, I'm a celebrity or I'm a you know, um, I say it in the song. I'm a living artist. I I'm alive and I live the art and the art lives me. And I would be in a caravan of people doing Shakespeare if women were allowed to do Shakespeare back in the day. You know, like I would be, yeah, I would be, I would be doing vaudeville, like I would be gypsy, I'd be, you know, I'd be mama, I'd be, I'd be out there still doing this. Um, and it's not that far from that time. It just it's it's perceived differently because of the way we have this illusion and mirage, you know.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

Um But I mean, you and I how do I say this? You do not come across as somebody that would ever have that behavior anyway. You do it because you do it because you're passionate about what you do, and that's the thing. That's what translates if somebody is passionate about what they do and they're doing it for the right reasons, then compensation, while it's lovely to have compensation, it's it's something that you do. It's like me writing books. Yes, I don't make a lot of money doing, I don't make a lot at all, but it's a passion of mine to write. And I'm not gonna turn it over to AI to write, I'm gonna do it myself. And I mean, yeah, that's the thing you have to worry about is somebody stealing your songs and your voice. And it's it's ridiculous that we can't just do the art that we want to do.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

You know, I've been kind of I feel like I've been a little bit ignorant about what's going on because I've been seeing people post about they took my voice, they took my songs, and I don't, I haven't looked it up yet. My friend sent me the thing to check it out. Um, but I am I don't it's not like I'm I I don't I want I'm ignoring it to make it like it doesn't exist, but I am doing my best to just focus on creating what I'm what I'm working on now, not just this song, but the other projects that I have coming up, because that's gonna be something that you can only experience in person. Um, I will always be for the live show above all, you know, because AI can't get up there and do what I do. AI I cannot play multiple characters and talk about the history of the womb and write a song, you know, from the perspective of, you know, so many different people in one moment that is literal lives of this person. You know, it's like, no, I could never do what I do. So that's why I am like this on my next, you know, goal, which is to create this show. And obviously the song Red Carpet is kind of an in some ways an invitation in a new way. Because it's not like I don't put out music every year, but this year I felt like I needed to do something that was much more bold. Um, and what is what is very much my burlesque world and my performance art world more rooted in that. Um, because there's so many different sides to me artistically that sometimes I feel like I don't present the humor in one facet, or I don't present like the the heartfelt, you know, it's like I want to keep opening, it's like, you know, you make people laugh and then you open their heart so that you can get bring them a little closer to tell them a secret. You know, that kind of level of vulnerability can can be more um open the heart can be more opened in that way, you know, once you know I'm laughing along with you.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

Right.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

Um because I really can't, I mean, God bless the pop stars, but I can't stand the ego of that reality where it's like, I'm a pop star, I'm a pop star, I'm a pop star. And I know people love that too, because they they're living vicariously through these gorgeous artists up there being these pop stars, you know. But if I'm a pop star and I don't have some kind of like booger hanging out of my nose or like, you know, just some level of being human in that construct, it's uh I, you know, it's fun because I get to be fierce on stage with scissors, but I live for the humor. I live for the moment that it's that the mask can come down, you know? Um, because I don't necessarily feel like we need any more stars or idols in our reality.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

No. Well, and it goes back to something you were saying about the carpet, you know, when you're talking about blood and everything, why do we walk a red carpet if that is the real meaning? But to to your point about selection.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

People, some some people have changed it. I've noticed certain carpets are like different colors, and I don't know if maybe they know the origin or but what were you gonna say?

SPEAKER_02 24:30

I was just gonna say, as far as you know, the persona, the perception of meeting somebody that is very egocentric, I was fortunate enough to meet um a bass player who at the time was kind of not in his heyday. His hair was long, he had glasses on, he looked like he just rolled out of bed. And I got to talk to him for like a half hour or so, and he was totally cool. And they had asked us to send in pictures of our favorite pictures of the person. And so everybody's sending in pictures of all this, and this is for his personal site. They're they're sending all the the professional pictures. And I sent the picture of him and I, I cut myself out and I said, I like this picture because this is the real man. And that's the thing. If you can get past the ego, and the ego is not so blown up, that's the one thing people lose about celebrities, most of them, not all of them, but most of them are actually real people that that want to communicate and want to talk.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

You know, another thing that's come up in the last year, a couple years for me is the reason why people create that separation is for protection. And I understand that. So the more that they create the character of the hyper ego pop star, the more that their inner person can kind of disappear and not be, you know, affected, so to speak, right? It's like we've seen it, Gaga talk about it a million times, you know. Um, you know, she was strong when I wasn't, you know, but that kind of just like, you know, I'm gonna create a superhero because I couldn't be strong. Um the thing about that is that is positive on some level is that you do keep some people who do not need to be close to you at bay.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

And um I'm a I'm a I'm a God, I just I love people and I love people who have struggled and talk like to talk to me about their struggle and grow. So I care for a lot of people, and sometimes I love people that I don't know, and I don't always know what their intentions are, what's gonna how it's gonna affect them, you know, and so I all I want to do is be kind and open. And so I've learned though that we can always be that way. Right. Because some people can't handle actually even your kindness. They don't even know what to do with it when they're when you are not the pop star that they kind of maybe imagined, which would create a separation. So as soon as it's close to them, they almost don't even know how to handle that kind of connection with someone that they've never met in person. It's just this illusion of this person, you know? And so I think it's a it's a it's a it's much deeper, longer conversation. Oh, yeah, it is around fame in general and how uh it's can be so unhealthy for both parties involved, um, the idolatry and everything. But I do think that creating like this, I don't, she's still Bridget, but the character that's singing red carpet, that heightened version of me, I needed to do that. I needed, I needed to do something that also was like a spell of confidence for myself. And there's so many people's voices on the track that are like background noise that are people that I love that um are just have been so supportive of me. So it's like I have their energy and their support within the track. So it's this kind of magical um chant, like mantra. Um, because no matter what, that part of me that still feels insecure at times, very often, needs to remind myself. And I and I think that it's really important not to always go to external reminders of that.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 28:34

You know, and um yeah, so that's kind of one of the extensions of what this song was for me was being able to create that confidence because sometimes when we look to external and not even just we want that validation for like getting a job or for having more followers or whatever that is, but also external validation that sometimes can come at a cost of someone else's energy. And so being aware that if I'm leaning on you because I'm in feeling insecure or sad, and you're someone who could support me in those moments because you just think I'm so amazing, and then I'm I'm I'm feeling better and I don't need you anymore, then I've like used your confidence about me and within me to move forward. And now where does that leave you? So I've also found that it's that's also something that happens to a lot of well-known people is that they mine other people's energy. And it's not always in how it's it's not always a healthy exchange and where you can leave others, you know? So, yes, you make something, people love it. Yay, I'm so glad you love it. I hope you do something and it inspires you and move on, right? Not this continued obsessive or an artist feeding into the obsession of that person or those groups, that group of people, being a having that, and I don't think it's easy, but creating sanity in within all of that is so important for both for the audience and for the artist, you know. Um I get it. I get it. Um, you're playing a show. Huh? Me and my tangents.

SPEAKER_02 30:22

That's okay. I understand. Um, you're playing a big show in Hyde Park with Duran. I know, I'm very excited. Were you a Duran fan?

SPEAKER_01 30:32

You know, I'm gonna say it missed me generationally a bit. Yeah. Um so I'm not like gonna lose my shit. Um I think the only, I mean, I definitely this last with Belinda Carlisle, we performed with her. That was pretty amazing because I definitely loved that song as a kid. Uh Heaven is a Place on Earth. So that was really fun. Um there, I feel like I would probably, and obviously Ian McKellen always kind of lose my shit on that.

SPEAKER_02 31:03

That was awesome, which I meant to bring up, but go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

Love, love. He the what he I've met him, I met him 10 years ago, but it's okay that he didn't remember me. But him meeting me again, the first thing he said when he saw me come out of the dressing room at Glastonbury, he was like, showbiz.

SPEAKER_02 31:19

Nice.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

And I said, that is the best, that's like the best moment ever. Yes, you get me, Ian. Um, just showbiz, baby. Uh shout out to Murray Hill. But uh I if Bet Miller was gonna come when Bet Miller was gonna, if she was gonna come into a show with us, uh, then I would lose my shit.

SPEAKER_02 31:45

I get it. No, I get it. I mean, I totally get it. I was just curious because I noticed that in all of the the show dates, they're the only ones that are kind of flagged. You do have your pride show, which is the first one coming up, and then that, and that's kind of flagged, and then you have your other shows. So, what is gonna be your favorite show to play in that you think are you or all of them?

SPEAKER_01 32:06

I don't really know. Like honestly, I've um this is kind of that part of me that's the that I detach a little bit until I'm there. Understanding, you know. I mean, I will say that I'm going to see my godfathers who live in Portugal. So whenever whenever I get a chance to see people that I love that I wouldn't be able to see on a regular day, like my godfathers who live in Portugal. Um, like I got to be with them last year on my birthday in Portugal. So that will probably be my favorite show of the summer. Fair enough. And also, Portugal is gorgeous and everything is wonderful. Like I've the people are so kind and they're sexy.

SPEAKER_02 32:52

There, I want to circle back because I we know we're short on time because you have a schedule. Um to the fact that you're having prognosticating dreams. A lot of people don't realize that you have, you know, we are we can have dreams that predict the future that end up playing out, that gives us messages without us realizing it.

SPEAKER_01 33:12

I I'm like, I've it's happened in the past to me, and I'm just I'm hoping that the dreams continue and give me clues about things I need to know for the future. And I mean, I did I love me some Edgar Casey. And when I was a kid, my mom, when I was born, my mom did my astrological chart, and it said in the chart that I would have skills like Edgar Casey. And so throughout my life, I've been just, and I didn't read that chart till I was like 14 years old. My mom didn't want me to, you know, get all crazy about it. But I naturally throughout my childhood was obsessed with psychic powers and had even found books on Edgar Casey before I even knew about what she had, what the astrological chart said. So I'm I'm hoping that the skill is gonna grow, but I know I need to nurture it too, yes, and just be open to it.

SPEAKER_02 34:11

Well, your birthday is June 20th, correct? So happy birthday.

SPEAKER_01 34:14

Yes, it was just my birthday. Thank you, darling.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

According to the birthday book, June 20th is a natural psychic birthday. So you're a naturally gifted psychic. That's according to the birthday book. Now, does that really hold meaning? I don't know. But the thing is, yes, and your dreams, depending on how your chart is placed, your psychic abilities are gonna be different. And I I've had dreams start, I the the one I remember the most, at least when I was younger, I was in eighth grade, the summer between seventh and eighth grade. And I kept having a recurring dream that I was gonna be queen of the school, and the guy was gonna be king, and this would not happen until January of the following year. And this was the summer, and I dreamt the dress, I everything, and sure enough, it happened. So I've had the same thing. You're the queen of the school. Yes, I was well, it was Mardi Gras, New Orleans, all that good stuff. Oh my god, how fun. Even two weeks before the Saints won, I had a dream. I woke up that morning and I told my husband, I said, The Saints are gonna win the Super Bowl. He's like, What? The game's not until like next week. I'm like, they won. And yeah, so I mean, trust your dreams and make sure if you can't write them down that you record them because they hold messages for you.

SPEAKER_01 35:29

Well, you tell me uh this dream that I had when I was in just in Ireland, because I was shooting a film there, and it was so insane, but I it was all about boats because I was also by the ocean. But there was this one moment where I was literally, and I felt like I was doing it in real time and it never ended. I was just I I had fallen into the ocean and I knew I needed to get up because the weight, the tide was gonna get higher and I was it was gonna get cold. And I'm pulling on this rope to get myself out of the water. And I was like, oh, I've I've got really good upper body strength, I'll be okay, you know. But I woke up and I could feel my hands as if they had been sore from just pulling on this rope. And I did it like in time, it wasn't like it sped up. You know how your dreams are like almost back. I was fully, I was like, and I wondered if it was a past life moment.

SPEAKER_02 36:28

That's what I was gonna say because I had a dream a long time ago that I I had only been to this place in Texas one time, and I was living up here like 20 years later, and I was on this Ferris wheel, I was at this park walking around, and I I remembered all these things. I was on this Ferris wheel and I fell out of the Ferris wheel and I hit the ground, but I didn't die right away. So, and this actually took me to another dream because in this dream I was actually looking at something going, that's the Ferris wheel I fell out of because it was a double yellow Ferris wheel.

SPEAKER_01 37:04

And I had a dream relating to a dream.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

Exactly. And when I was when my friend took me in after right after high school, we went on this double yellow Ferris wheel, and I screamed bloody murder. I had no idea why. But after having this dream, I realized. So fast forward, I'm teaching classes and everything, and I start really digging into this past life. And the girl's mother committed suicide, just like my mom did. And apparently I got so deep into this that when she hit the ground, she didn't die right away. Which in the dream, I didn't die, even though I hit the ground, I didn't die. And so it was just kind of like it was very freaky. And I did this whole presentation about it. Wow, that's amazing. So when you're describing pulling on the rope, that's exactly what I was thinking, that you most likely were connected to a past life, and especially being in Ireland, most likely that's where it happened. So here you are in that area that's pulling back to that.

SPEAKER_01 38:02

It's not far from where my my mother's side of the family is from. And also the film that I was doing was talking all about lineage, and there was like there was so and I was just thinking about the boats that are leaving, you know, back in the day. And like, did I work on a boat? Like, was that what you know? It's so interesting. Yeah, no, I love that stuff. I I wish that I wrote down every single dream that I had, but I I didn't. I that was just the one that I really remembered the most.

SPEAKER_02 38:32

And this is what I will say put in a recording app on your phone. That's what say you dream, and there it is. Because you can always because I'm a month before my husband died, I had a dream basically that laid out where my husband was gonna die and everything else. I didn't know it. Uh, two two, three months after he died, everything I went back and I found it all. And I was just like, okay. So you have to pay attention to those things because there's messages there. And I know we gotta go and I could talk to you, like you said for you.

SPEAKER_00 39:04

I know, I know, and I'll go bad that we have to cut it as short.

SPEAKER_02 39:07

Is there anything you want to add before uh, you know, we end the call?

SPEAKER_01 39:13

Um I guess you know, I think that the the journey to love yourself is is just as long as your life, you know, but I think the sooner you learn how to validate and love yourself and be the be the voice of I'm proud of you, you did this, the happier life is gonna be, the more fulfilling and the more and the better you'll be to the people around you because you won't need everybody else to tell you how fabulous you are, because you will know it, and then you'll be able to be more present with people. And I think that that's like one of the biggest things as an artist to remove that need of from others, but understand that it's still about an exchange and a sharing. And that's it's a very thin line to say, Oh, I want to do this thing so badly. Can you do it with me? Right? Can we go on this journey together? It's it's it doesn't feel good to beg people for their attention or their love, right? Or their views or their streams or their interviews, or who wants to beg anyone? You want to just someone to just see you and love you. And I think the more you just love yourself, the less you're affected by when people don't. You know, I think that's just and it's different because it's like my whole life, I'm writing about also being an artist. My that is my life. So whether or not I'm writing about a relationship or you know, something that happened to me or something that I witnessed, I'm still writing about writing. I'm still writing about music, writing about being a performer. So I can't help but but have that um reflection on why I do what I do. And sometimes I forget why I do it. And I'm reminded that a song can make someone happy when they're feeling, you know, really depressed. And I can find a song that just brings me so much peace. And I don't need to go call that artist and write them a million messages. You know what I mean? Like I can just be like, thank you for this art, you know. And if they're in New York and I, or if they're around, I go see them live, you know, and just experience that and make the relationship complete in that way, you know, and that's something that it's with anything, with any give and resale, with all relationships of giving and taking, you know, and learning that that all of all of that flows more easily when you are just loving yourself and caring for your own journey.

SPEAKER_02 42:05

And I think that's important with anything, like you said, with anything.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:09

Thank you for coming on.

SPEAKER_01 42:11

Thank you, sweetheart. So good to see your face.

SPEAKER_02 42:13

Having Bridget back was great because we could just pick up the conversation very easily. I think, you know, some of the points she made about the fact that we look for external validation is very true. And we're taught about that at a young age. I mean, you do something right, you're gonna get praise. You, you know, your parents will praise you, your grandparents will pay appraise you, your teacher will praise you. And then we have the need of wanting to fit in. So we have all these little things that build and build and build, and they keep transferring into our life, you know. You do something, you get paid for it. You post a video, you get likes. So there's always this exchange, no matter what. And if you're not secure enough with yourself, then that becomes a problem because then you start seeking outside validation, you start thriving for those clicks, you start thriving for what can I do to, you know, get people to notice me. You know, and the interesting thing about that is when I look back at my life, I remember, and I've taught to think about this before, when I was living in Shreveport, and it was at the time a little bit more conservative town than it is now, I decided to wear all black. I was not goth, but I certainly look like a definition of a goth. I had light makeup, you know, my skin was almost white. I had dyed my hair black, and I had put a black extension to ponytail. So I had long black hair. And I wore a black velvet coat during the winter, and I had a big black purse. So everything about me screamed goth. Especially to the to a more narrow conservative town. And I looked Back, you know, because I went to the grocery store one night. It was seven o'clock at night, eight o'clock at night. It wasn't that crowded. But I had somebody from the store security following me because of the way I looked. And I didn't do it for outside validation. I told myself, I lied to myself and said, Well, I'm doing this because I don't want to be noticed. Okay, well, let's think about this. Everything you've done here in this situation is put an eon sign around you saying, Hi, I'm different. Look at me. And then I went through that phase. And then I went through another phase where I was wearing big hats and gloves and um hot pants and heels and still looking different, still being outlandish. And I'm sure I've said this on the podcast before. That's when mom's like, Oh, you have a problem. Do I? Yes, you need to go to go get checked out. Okay. So I went to the mental health organization and got checked out, got to did all the tests and everything. And they tell me I'm creative. Come back home, tell my mother that they don't know what they're talking about. Okay, all right. But I looked back, and yes, I wanted to be in a band, and yes, that was part of my image, and blah, blah, blah. But when I look back at that, I was doing it partially, I'm sure, for that outside validation. And even though, when I think about it, even though my mother was giving me negative validation, she was still seeing me. And that wasn't something that she always did, especially after I got out of school, because there was no longer the good grade trope that she would play. Because that was her big thing. You know, in order to please her, I needed to get give her good grades. Well, that became a test in a uh comp, I don't want to say competition, but that came became a push-pull thing. Because if I wanted something, I better have those good grades. Otherwise, I wasn't going to get to do it. Which, you know, we can go into a whole diatribe about mental abuse and trauma and ever, all that other stuff. But when I look back at those things, they actually taught me more. They taught me more about who I am and gave me the ability to write some of the books I do. But the fact of the matter is when we look at those things, when we actually get to the point where we can look at our trauma, we can start loving ourselves more and we can start looking at the bigger picture. You know, yes, I have a therapist, I don't lie about that. But going through chemo and going through that part of my life where I have kind of in the last year almost, I have kind of just, I don't want to say isolated myself, but I have. I have friends that I talk to, but I don't really go out. And there's a lot of reasons. But that time has given me the luxury to really dive deep into who I am and where I've come from. And I think that's an important thing that if we can take that time, and you don't really want to do that in your 20s. No, because you're living life, 30s, nah, I'm still living life. Your 40s, you start becoming a little bit more reflective. 50s, oh yeah, you're definitely reflective. I'm not quite 60. But I look back now and go, wait a second, pay attention to this. You've made these, you've, you've, you start unpacking why you choose people in your life. How do I, how do I look at people? How did they come into my life? How do I know them? And when, if that relationship ends, are there similarities in that relationship to someone else? And yes, you know, to go along with what Bridget said, there is that energy exchange. There is always an energy exchange. Her and I talking is an energy exchange. But when it comes to your personal relationships, you have to look back and say, why did I choose this? You know, it was a very interesting question the other day when I was talking to my therapist. She posed, you know, because we were talking about what my mom had brought into my life. And she asked me, she says, Well, what did your dad bring? And at the time, I was like, I really can't think of much. But the fact of the matter is, on Father's Day, which just recently happened, I woke up and I was like, Oh, I know what my dad gave me. He gave me the fear of abandonment. And it's interesting to think that on Father's Day I thought this. And the only reason he gave me this fear, and you know, my dad will tell you the story of it didn't happen. That I always called to say I wasn't coming. Well, my dad also at the time was Mr. Party guy. So I have to, and I know that he he paints history a little differently, I've heard from his girlfriends, than what actually happened. So him saying he didn't come, that he called but but didn't come, I I have my doubts, but that's okay. But he had given me that fear of that I wasn't worthy, that he wasn't gonna show up, that he couldn't make time for me, that his friends were more important. Those are the things he gave me. And then, you know, there was a long time, and I understand suicide is a bigger deal, but there was a long time when I looked at my mom, especially when she attempted it several times, that this was another fear of abandonment because she she didn't feel I was worthy enough. And this is years ago that I thought this. She didn't think I was worthy enough to stick around. I understand suicide is not about me, but at the time when I was much, much younger and it's much more personal, and you don't understand it, it is about you. You feel like it's about you, you feel like this is the biggest form of rejection you will ever have. So there's this fear of abandonment. And I discovered in the last time I've been working on my book, um Goldie and the Honey Thief, that there's a recurring theme with a male character that he's terrified of being abandoned. And I realized at a certain point that I am working through my trauma in my characters, and I don't think I think as artists, we do that. You know, Bridget creates her show, Bridget has created songs, that's her working through her own stuff. And I think that's the biggest gift that if we turn our stuff over to AI, we're never gonna work through that. We're gonna take the simple way, and the simple way isn't always good. Sure, my writing is an escape. But the funny thing is, you would think, and I've I talk about it being an escape, but the funny thing is, if it's an escape, wouldn't you think I'd be writing about unicorns and butterflies and roses and all this happy go-lucky stuff when most of my stuff isn't so happy. And when I wrote Goldilicks and the Bear Brothers band, I was kind of like, I had to stop because it was too happy. And I needed to go write some some dark stuff because my my soul wanted me to write dark stuff, and so I stopped for a little bit. And it was kind of a running joke that that's how I operate. I don't operate with smooth sailing, and granted, as a book, you're supposed to have some drama in there, but it's one of those things where you you start to realize your own personality and who you are. And I and I know this is rambling, but I think that really if you are dealing with something, and you know, we all are, we are we are all kind of traumatized right now with what's going on in the world, find a way to I don't want to say isolate, but step away, step away from social media, step away from the things that are are pushing those triggers to make you feel lost. Go find something that's going to make you happy. You know, if if me writing drama is making me happy, then I'm gonna do it. Because as I said in the podcast, that's one of my passions. And I also want to say if you have dreams that seem very realistic or you know, they surprise you, and in there's so many interdimensional ways to look at life now. You know, there's proof now, scientific proof, that there is a multiverse. There is also, you know, the fact that dreams mean something. Sometimes a dream can lead to something that's going to happen in the future, and I can name several, and I've done that in the past. There's also dreams that so I've been told by some that can be you on another dimension, you in another dimension, you're getting a view of that. So it's it's interesting when you look at dreams. They're not just this random, sometimes sure. If you see, you know, I guess a pink, well, I don't want to say pink dolphin because they do exist, but we'll say a purple dolphin. You know, are you going to expect to see that? Is it going to mean something? Well, maybe. And that's the thing. Maybe that purple dolphin means something to you because you had a toy dolphin. Look at the clues and the key words in your dreams and pay attention. A dream dictionary may not hold what the answers are for you. You may have to sit with that yourself. It's kind of like when I taught tarot. You have to sit with those cards yourself and figure out what it means to you because sometimes you're gonna connect intuitively, and that's what you have to do. Anyway, now that I've given a diatribe, um definitely try to love yourself more, folks. Because no matter what, there's two things that we need to do as we move forward in this world. And one is to care enough about ourselves to make sure we survive, and number two, to embrace community, not because you're gonna get something from it, but because you enjoy being part of it. Because it calls to your soul, it feeds your soul, it feels feeds you energetically. So, on that note, go check out Bridget's song. Um, I've seen bits and pieces, and I've heard it, of course, but I've seen bits and pieces online. So follow Bridget on Instagram because she's always posting great content. Um, and she'll definitely be selling, she did it last year, so I'm sure it'll happen this year. She'll be sending clips from Scissor Sisters. So you get to be at the show even if you can't be at the show. So check her stuff out. It's a lot of fun. She's total camp. And as we talked about, it's a lot of theater, theatre, theatrical presentation. So I'd like to thank Fast Susie for the intro and outro music. I'd like to thank Bridget, of course, for coming on the show. And most importantly, I'd like to thank you, the viewer, listener, whichever you choose, um, for coming and listening and spending some time with me. And I really do appreciate it. Whether it's morning, noon, or night. I appreciate when you listen. And well, I'll catch you next time, guys. Bye.